How To Not Raise A Puppy

Lady at five weeks

After cleaning a puddle of liquid poop that was a foot in diameter on my living room floor, I realized I may not be the best dog parent. Wondering if I was the only one, I went to Google. Searching for the answers to all of my questions, I found that I surely was not alone. Thousands of questions regarding puppy health remained unanswered or answered only in general terms on the web. The questions ranged from What kind of plants are poisonous to my puppy? to My puppy ate a half-eaten cherry off of the floor, will he be ok??? (an actual post with actual three question marks). I wondered how so many puppies eventually grew into dogs when it seems like none of us know what the hell we’re doing? 

Having read two puppy “how to” books in advance, and patiently waiting four weeks to bring my pup home, I certainly thought I knew what I was doing. Cesar Millan, aka the Dog Whisperer and the author of How to Raise the Perfect Dog, made me feel pretty confident about my new journey into motherhood. The Monks of New Skete, authors of The Art of Raising a Puppy, told me that I had nothing to worry about. Then, my adorable little German Shepherd puppy threw up seven times on my bedroom floor. Clearly, I was wrong. 

I shutter to think what other new puppy moms and dads face without any research at all? Countless young adults jump for the chance to have their own Man’s Best Friend after just watching a Budweiser commercial with a loving yellow lab. Do they have any idea what they’re getting into? Were they drinking too much Budweiser to care? 

Millions of dogs enter Animal Shelters every year; about 3.9 million of them, according to the ASPCA. People turn in those dogs partially because of this problem of ignorance. While ignorance is a common theme among humans, when it comes to other living things, it cannot be acceptable. 

The main focus on getting a puppy has always been how to transition your new pet to your environment. But what about us humans? Unless we’re the Dog Whisperer, we’re left scratching our heads at every single torn up pillow and puddle of pee (or poop), no matter how many “how to” books we read.  

These books fail to address some of the most important things, like Why does my puppy think my hands and feet are its chew toys? and What should I be feeding my seven week old puppy? More importantly, they fail to relate to many of the young adults that wish to train their own dog by themselves. The Monks of New Skete had a whole monastery to watch their dogs. One monk wasn't stumbling out of bed every hour on the hour the first few nights to let their puppy out to pee. We are left to stumble and manage on our own. 

So should we “trust the process” or educate ourselves? Years of schooling have taught us to study, yet so many twenty-somethings are getting dogs without a second thought. A puppy is a commitment of about fifteen years, and dogs don’t understand “It’s not you, it’s me.” Our parents have already cut most of us off, and we are left to our own devices on how to raise a living thing. Are we crazy? Probably. But only a good kind of crazy if we educate ourselves enough.